


Wither

by suppakei



Category: Mewgulf, เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gulf Kanawut - Freeform, M/M, Mew Suppasit - Freeform, MewGulf - Freeform, One Shot, Romance, TharnType, Yaoi, boyslove, mewgulfau, thaibl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suppakei/pseuds/suppakei
Summary: Mew hasn’t spoken to Gulf in 5 years. Not until his online event.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Comments: 18
Kudos: 57





	Wither

**Author's Note:**

> -oneshot  
> -full on angst  
> -may contain typos  
> -inspired by Mew’s SOY online event  
> -originally posted in my twitter account @SUPPAkei8

"How many more?"

"This is the last one, boss." Mew took a sip from his flask and sneaked a strawberry in his mouth.

Interacting with his fans was still his favorite thing about his job. But he couldn't be more relieved to end the online fan meet after 3 hours of talking and smiling.

He had no idea what he would get when the screen flashed the last lucky fan on the list. But never in his life did he expect to see him again in this circumstance. His eyes didn't know how to process the familiar face he hasn't seen in years. He had to pinch himself just to make sure that his mind wasn't playing tricks on him.

"Phi? Phi do you hear me?" It became apparent that it was his long lost heart that he was talking to. He couldn't remember the last time he heard his voice. However, one thing is for sure. It was still the sweetest tone he's ever heard.

He thought he was the last. He thought he would be his Nong even after 10 years. He thought that since their relationship was at 9.99, the remaining 0.01 wouldn't be able to tear their relationship apart.

_"Are you fucking serious?!"_ Gulf slams his knife and fork on the table and pushes his food towards him.

_"Shit. I'm sorry, I didn't know they put shrimps in it."_ It was their first dinner date in over 3 months. He wanted it to be perfect but something just keeps messing things up.

_"5 years and you still can't drill it in that thick skull of yours that I don't eat that shit?! Are you trying to kill me?!"_ While it's true that they've been distant for quite some time, he was still doing his best to make up for their lost time. But recently, it seems like nothing he does could please his lover anymore and it was starting to vex him.

_"Don't be overly dramatic. The worst it could do is make you itchy."_

_"Oh, so it's okay because that's 'the worst it could do'. You really don't care for me anymore do you?!"_ Gulf was infuriated. His ears were red from the amount of emotions he's been keeping inside.

_"I never said that! And I keep telling you it's an honest mistake!"_ Their private dinner on the rooftop looked nothing but romantic. However, their intense argument was dissolving it.

_"What is wrong with you lately? You're always angry and annoyed. Sometimes you pretend as if I'm not beside you. You spend more time at parties than you do with me. And since when did you start keeping cigarette boxes in your bag? I'm telling you Gulf, those new friends of yours are a bad influence! Stay away from them!"_

_"Don't you dare talk about them that way! Who do you think you are telling me what to do when you only care for me whenever you like? I keep waiting patiently but you never come! I offer you my comfort when things don't go your way but you refuse to take them and keep everything to yourself! You never have time for us! What did you expect me to do?”_ His voice was breaking. And even when he was about to cry, he held back his tears to show him that he was strong enough.

_“You agreed to this Gulf! We both did! Things were never going to be easy for both of us. But we promised to be understanding and be together!”_

_“Well, I lied! I’m tired Mew. I’m tired of the plans that never happened. I’m tired of guessing what’s on your mind and I’m tired of waiting.”_

Mew never spoke because he didn’t want to bring his work problems into their home. He never shared his troubles because he knew Gulf would worry more than him.

_“I think it’s time we break up Phi.”_ His words were always a possibility but never did it cross his mind for it to be a reality. 

_“We’re not breaking up. Take it back!”_ Tears uncontrollably fell.

_“I don’t love you anymore.”_ Glass shattered on the floor but the loudest sound was his heartbreaking into pieces.

_“Say that again and we’ll be really over.” Please don’t._

_“I don’t love you anymore.”_ It was obviously a lie but sometimes lies are forced to turn into reality to gratify the prevailing emotions.

From that point, everything went downward spiral. Their couple works didn't have the same magic anymore. Their stiff interactions became apparent and eventually became a disappointment. Even the new series project that was meant to give them a second chance didn't happen. It was as if the universe was conforming to their separation.

The media caught up with the evident strain between them. While both sides received a tremendous amount of criticism, Mew decided to focus on his music career, and never did he come back as an actor again.

Gulf, meanwhile, stuck to what he knows best. His acting career went steady but so was his change in behavior. He and his new entourage were always drowned in booze and cigarettes. He made so many questionable decisions until he reached the point of no return.

Gulf was in the wrong place at the wrong time. He only came to have a good time but he wasn't told that it was a drug-infused party. They were raided and when the sirens came, he knew it was over.

_“I don’t know if someone could take care of you like I do.”_ The words resonated every time the camera flashed on his face.

Gulf's announcement of his early retirement in the industry reached Mew last. He was just starting his career overseas and he thought blocking any news about his old lover would be the best way to move forward. Gulf has vanished from show business by the time he found out.

"What kind of sick joke is this? Is this serious?" He was trembling and needed to ask his staff over and over again. They couldn't look him in the eye because they didn't have the answers he was looking for.

"Phi! It is me, Gulf! Don't you remember?" The way Gulf talked to him brought him back to their first few years together. Very much in love and careful.

"Did you know I bought 20 of your albums six months ago just to get a golden ticket?! 20 albums and still none! So this time around, I vowed to buy 30 copies of your album and guess what... I got one golden ticket!" Mew watched him talk so optimistically and so proud like he was really his number one fan. He even sang his favorite songs from the album and told him he practiced it every day so one day he could sing for him. Gulf was still bright and yellow but this time in a fainter shade.

"Phi! Won't you talk to me? I only have two minutes here!"

"What happened to you?" Mew's voice broke down. Gulf’s cheeks were sunken and his skinny built made him look so weak. He was in a hospital bed. The dextrose that hanged beside him and the blue loose clothes gave it away.

"Oh. Well, I have a new hairstyle Phi! Bald looks good on me, doesn't it? You said it yourself back in our TharnType days!" Gulf removed his beanie and showed off his clean shaved head.

"Gulf, Please..." Mew was begging him for an explanation. His heart was beating so fast and it was getting hard for him to breathe.

"I'm just sick Phi, it's nothing really." There was a long silence. Gulf was hiding behind his lies again.

"I will get the first flight home. Can you wait for me?" Gulf smiled and gladly assumed that he was still his home. However, it's been five years. So much has changed.

"Don't waste your time Phi. So just listen to me." Mew braced himself for what he was about to tell him. He watched him on the screen and felt his chest getting tighter.

"I’m sorry for everything Phi. I've never apologized for what happened that night. Now that I think of it, it's so funny that we fought over a stupid shrimp! We could've fixed it easily, you know. But I guess for the first time our hearts were tired and didn't communicate well. I destroyed myself but to be honest I was already done for when you left. I tried to change myself completely just so I can remove the traces of you. But in the end, I should've listened to you. They weren't good for me. I've hurt a lot of people and when I wanted to come back to my old self, I was consumed by this illness. Maybe I deserve this after all." Things could’ve been so different if only they didn’t point fingers at each other.

“Gulf, I’ve hurt you the most.” Mew never said it out loud before because he knew how painful it is to feel the wounds reopen.

“I was angry and irrational. I let my pride prevail and blocked everything about you. I didn’t want to care anymore. But then I grew empty and I looked for you again. I felt desperate and came back but they said you were with someone else. I know it might just be another rumor but I thought if it was true and you still looked at me with the same bitterness, what would I do?” He was wiping tears that won't stop.

“I was wrong. I should’ve protected you better. I should’ve held on tighter when you were slipping away. I’m a coward and every day I was reminded that I never did deserve you.” Regrets flowed like a stream into the ocean. He missed his chance and he has to live with it for the rest of his life.

“I guess we’re just both stupid.” Gulf laughs to change the mood. Everything has been said and done. And there was nothing they could do even if they begged the heavens. 

“Do you mind if I become stupid again and say I still love you?” Mew finally laughed. Perhaps his heart couldn’t contain the joy of knowing he was still the one.

“I guess I’m stupid too.”

They stared at each other through the screen like they used to with their phones.

_It must be nice to go back to where we were._ Gulf thought but kept it to himself because he knew it was impossible.

Gulf didn’t tell him how much time he’s got left. But this was all the time he needed. These few minutes. These few words. It was enough to make him feel alive again... even for just a moment.

“Mr. Kanawut? It’s time for your shots.” Gulf looked at a far distance. He rubbed his eyes and recomposed himself.

It was time to go. They’ve reached the end.

"Phi! Before I go, look!" He grabs a fully bloomed sunflower and puts it beside his face.

"I still look like a sunflower don't I?" He flashed his brightest gummy smile and squinted his eyes. It was their flower. Everybody said so.

Another surge of emotions threw Mew off but he forced himself to smile just in case it was the last time.

"You will always be my sunflower. No one else." If there was one promise he never once broke, it was this.

"Thank you for being my sun Phi. I love you."

"I love you too." The screen turned black and he saw his own reflection drowning in despair. He was suffering in helplessness.

**xxx**

That day the sun died a little more after the petals of his favorite flower fell.

He didn’t shine his light for a long time but still, his sunflower waited.

The sun rose again when the sunflower started to wither, hoping his beloved will blossom again.

Every day the sun prayed. Sacrificing everything he’s got to save his flower.

One day the heavens answered.

Indeed it was true. The sunflower always blooms for his sun.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> How was it?
> 
> Thank you for reading 🥺
> 
> I posted this weeks ago on my twitter. Sometimes I randomly just write and post it there first. So follow me there if you can! @SUPPAkei8
> 
> Your comments are very much appreciated! ❤️


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